I can't sell you all this for twenty bucks
by SilverPowder
Summary: Nathaniel, drug dealer, big brother, hopeless romantic. When he meets the quiet girl, Chaos, his life seems to have something more for him than just being a burn out.
1. Prologue

**This fanfiction is written by Chaos**

* * *

 **Prologue**

 **Nathaniel P.O.V**

 _"C'mon man this is all I have." The spotty college freshman pleads at my kitchen table, making me regret ever letting him in._

 _"I can't sell you all this for twenty bucks that would be a steal. I have a family to support." He looks down at the bag of white powder that sits between us. I glare at him across the table, taking a deep drag of my cigarette. I exhale a half assed ring in his direction while he digs in his pockets and mutters about what an asshole I am and how he could just call the cops on me. As if he could. He knows I would come after him._

 _"I'm serious, this is all I got." He holds out a crumpled $20._

 _"Bullshit." I want to smack some sense into this kid but instead I light another cigarette. "I can sell you a quarter of that for forty and that's as low as I'll go."_

 _He's looks at me in disgust but seems to get distracted by something behind me._

 _I turn and she's there, her starlight white hair flowing around her like her presence itself increases the static in the room. This fucker's whining woke her up, little shit._

 _The robe clings her body tight, her newly developing curves spilling out of the shear fabric as she leans against the door frame,"Baby." She breaths, her voice exhausted. "Come back to bed." Her red eyes burn me and give a warning. I wish I could say she didn't have to wake up to deals often, but that would be a lie._

 _"Ten minutes, then I'm all yours." I promise. She sighs and turns back to our room, pulling her robe tight around her as she goes. Her movements sluggish and tired._

 _Fuck. I'm gonna pay for this is 9.5 minutes._

 _I turn back to my client who's still picking his jaw off the floor._

 _"Forty?" I hold out my hand._

 _"Fine." We make the deal and he says he won't be back, but I know in a week he'll be back at my door, itching for a fix._

 _They always are._

 _I splash cold water on my face and look in the mirror above the bathroom sink._

 _God I look like shit. The bags under my eyes are dark and expanding. My cheeks look hollow, and my skin is pale. My hair is choppy and greasy._

 _I should get some sleep._

 _I'm supposed to be getting my shit together, but trying all the time is wearing me out. How am I supposed to be a father?_

 _I walk into the bedroom. The robe's discarded on the floor, but she's so enveloped in blankets all I see is bleached white hair, black growing out at the roots._

 _"C'mon Kitt-Katt," I crawl into bed next to her, "Don't be mad."_

 _She rolls further away from me and makes a small noise of disdain. I lay against the headboard and run my fingers through her hair. She gets a bit closer to me but doesn't give in just yet._

 _I keep petting her hair while she falls asleep. I look down at her soft features, I'm falling apart and she still looks as angelic as always._

 _How are we gonna do this?_

* * *

 **Chaos P.O.V**

 _The clock blinks 3:45am, red light bouncing off the walls, daring me to try and get some sleep. My back is killing me and the warm body pressed against it gives little relief. I roll over to face the man who loves me, one arm draped protectively over my swollen stomach. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, not the hectic mess he's become in the daylight since the pregnancy. I brush the yellow locks from his sleeping face, placing a small kiss on his forehead. There's no one better I could have made this mistake with, but I'm still sorry I've done this to him. He works so hard for our family, those we already have and those we are expecting. I worry about him running this hard for this long, with little reward._

 _"I love you." I breathe into his chest, burrowing in blankets and inhaling the smell of tobacco on his shirt._

 _The desperate rapping on the door pulls my love from me and out into the living room, he is careful not to disturb me as he untangles our limbs and closes our bedroom door behind him._

 _I know he's making a deal, the more money we can get right now the better, but I still wish he'd just leave the kid in the hall and stay with me._

 _Since Silver, I've barely slept, I sure as hell can't sleep in an empty bed. I roll on my back and stare at the ceiling, waiting for either his return or his baby to press against my bladder again and force me out of bed._

 _Fifteen minutes pass, and I can't take it anymore. I haul my inflated body from the bed with as much energy as I can generate and slip my robe over my exposed skin. God I'm huge. I pad through the living room and find find them in the kitchen._

 _I walk out and see the normal deal setup, I get the attention of Nathaniel, completely ignoring the pimply child in my kitchen. "Baby," I breath, "come back to bed." He promises to be in soon, his eyes showing love, but not as bright as when I met him._

 _Did I do that? Did I take that shine from him?_

 _I sigh and head back to the room, discarding my robe and crawling into the bed, letting the fluffy white comforter envelope me and my entirety. I think about Nathaniel, how much he's doing for me, us. What he's gonna have to do. The thoughts scare me to the point of tears. I put my hand on my stomach and feel the life growing beneath my skin. My daughter, our daughter, stirs slightly and kicks my kidneys. I cry softly while I hold my stomach, look at the world I'm bringing her into. A world of drug deals and binge drinking. A world of treating her father's weeping track marks and holding her mother's hair while she throws up. Sobs rock my body softly as the door creeps open._

 _"C'mon Kitt-Katt," he crawls into bed next to me, "Don't be mad."_

 _I roll farther away, not wanting him to feel my doubt and distress._

 _He runs long fingers through my hair and the familiar touch calms me a bit._

 _We're totally fucked, but at least we're fucked together._


	2. Chapter 1

**This Fanfiction is written by Chaos Cherry**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 **(About a year earlier)**

I sit on Castiel's carpet, the bass from the dancing in the basement pulses through me rhythmically. The party slithers and slides around me.

"Nathaniel." Silver taps on my shoulder. She is wearing sparkly fishnet tights, black shorts and a neon green tank top, matching the green beads in her black dreadlock extensions. "This is Chaos, keep an eye on her." She shoves a dainty girl in my direction, then quickly turns around and is consumed by the party as quickly as she appeared.

"Wait where are you going!?" I shout after her, but it's no use. She is gone. I look to the tiny girl she shoved in my direction. She has waist long Black hair and piercing red eyes. A Black sliced dress hugs her body, stopping just before her mid thigh. Neon blue blades slither through the cuts in her dress.

She looks too graceful to know Castiel, but that might just be the pills I took earlier.

She comes down to my level and places herself so close to me I can feel the heat radiate through her body, into mine.

"I'm Nathaniel, and i guess I'm in charge of your wellbeing now." I shake her hand in the way I was trained from childhood, be a perfect gentleman. She smiles warmly and lets go of my hand only to be shoved into me again. "Sorry." She says looking up to me, her boobs are pressed up against my chest. "It's fine."

I put my hands on her shoulders and pull her to the side of the room away from all the bustling. She looks grateful.

"Um, Well i guess I'm Chaos now, so, it's nice to meet you." The energy from her body to mine is almost too much. I see a tinge of discomfort in her eyes and decide to pull back. I step back only for her to tightly grasp my arm. "I know this is weird." She says, her hands slightly shaking, "But I'm not good with groups I don't know, can you stay with me till I find someone?"

She explains that she met Silver a good twenty minutes ago, where she promptly decided her new name was Chaos and brought her here.

A classic Silver move, always reliable.

"I like Chaos, I think it suites you." Something about those eyes, "But what's your real name?"

Her face seems a little flushed, but grateful to not be alone.

"Kitty." She mumbles.

She's in the middle of telling me about how she just moved here, and doesn't really know anyone yet when Castiel appears next to me, silencing her.

"Hey," He says tersely. "I have some 'party favors' in my room, if you're interested."

Always down for something new in my system I give him a nod then turn to Chaos.

"K, bye. Nice meeting you." I turn to go, when her hand around my arm stops me. Her eyes are wide and desperate.

"Take me with you." She mouths.

Ugh.

What do I do? I can't take her with me? I hate these moral dilemmas. What would a boy scout do?

Fuck, a boy scout would take her with him.

"Fine." Relief instantly spreads across her face. "But you have to be...cool, with what's going on in there. Got it?

"Yeah, yeah I'm totally cool. Just please don't leave me."

I lead her through the house, through the crowd, to Castiel's room. I almost lose her four times in the sea of people. His stark white bedroom door is oddly welcoming as I open it. A few people I know and a few I don't sit in a messy circle on the floor. I take a spot against the foot of the bed and Chaos sits next to me. We look like we're about to sacrifice a virgin to Satan, but in reality it's a much more destructive ritual.

Castiel goes first, sinking deep into himself as the chemicals course through his veins. He pulls the needle out of his arm and hands it directly to Chaos. She looks at me as if to ask for permission.

"Go ahead." I tell her. She holds it for a second as if she doesn't know what to do.

Of course, she's probably never done this before. The sweet little flower. I grab a band from behind me to show her how it's done. I turn back to her, ready to share my wisdom, but she's already filling the syringe.

Oh.

Never mind.

She's about to put tie the band when-

"WAIT." I interject. "That just came out of Castiel's arm," I say taking the needle from her hand. "And he has like _twelve_ STD's" I disinfect the needle with my lighter then hand it back to her.

"I can't have him infecting my little flower."

She takes the needle and raises an eyebrow at me, but doesn't say anything.

The room seems to melt away and all I can see is her.

She seems to be glowing, and all the drugs in my system make her even more magical to me.

She slides the band up her delicate arm and when she pulls to tie it, it snaps. The sound assaults my ears and leaves a red mark on her arm.

She doesn't miss a beat and grabs the end of the band pulling and tying it, in movements so complex and graceful to me, she forms a tight knot on her porcelain forearm.

I could have just handed her another band, but she's so wrapped up in her own bubble to break it would be committing a crime.

She pulls the end tight and holds it with her teeth her teeth, straining her jaw to keep it tight.

The veins and muscles in her neck move under her skin as she holds the band.

Giving it a final tug with her mouth she looks satisfied, the look of pure determination in her rich red eyes, hypnotises me.

She barely has to tap on her arm before her vein comes to the surface of her translucent skin.

She takes the needle and as it slips under her skin I feel my stomach drop.

I'm more wrapped up in one girl shooting up than I have been in anything in a long time, but to me this is the act of an angel. She's not just doing drugs she's soothing a troubled soul, and I'm completely infatuated with her. I watch her every movement, soaking up everything as if this will never happen again.

As she pushes the chemical into her body her eyes lose the edge and soften. Her body relaxes and she leans on me, content. She undoes her band and passes me the needle.

I go through the motions and smile at the sharp pain of the syringe under my skin.

"Aren't you going to clean it? You just went on your whole rant about infections. What if I give you something?" Chaos asks me.

I turn and look deep into those haunting ruby eyes.

"Oh, I'll take anything from you." I say flirtatiously, she blushes and I push the drugs into my bloodstream. Handing the needle off to the next junkie.

I don't know how much time passes, we just lay on Castiel's bedroom floor. People come and go, but we remain in our own little world.

We're not touching, but she feels closer to me than physically possible.

"Nathan?" She asks.

I roll on my side to look at her.

"Yeah?" She lays perfectly still on her side across from me. Her hair making large spirals on the floor.

Tears well up in her perfect eyes, spilling over and splashing onto the floor, leaving dark circles in the carpet.

"Nathaniel." She whimpers as she slams her head into her hands. She pulls tight at the roots of her hair, as if to pull out all of the pain and suffering she's endured. "Nathaniel." She looks at me with wide wet eyes.

"Make it stop." Her tears continue to fall in between gasps as her hands pull harder at her hair. "Make the pain stop."

A feeling splashes through me. I don't know what it is, all I know is I'm not okay with it. I don't know what to do. Do I touch her? Leave her?

She pulls at her hair again actually succeeding in removing some strands. "Stop!" I yell as I fall to her and grab her wrists. She bends and whines in my grasp.

"Make it stop." She cries over and over.

"Fine." I cup her face with my hands, looking deep into her red eyes. "I'll make the pain stop." Her tears are temporarily halted as she watches me stand, walk over to Castiel's bedside table, open a drawer and remove a pair of scissors.

I touch her arm gingerly. She doesn't resist so i help her into a sitting position, she holds my stare constantly. The tears haven't stopped but they fall silently instead of dramatically. I sit on my knees mirroring her, "I'm going to make it all better, okay?" and in that moment that's all I want. I want to make everything in her life all better. For the rest of her life.

I run my fingers through her hair and she closes her eyes. The silk dark strands fall through my fingertips. I gather a small amount in my hand.

"Ready?" I whisper.

"Ready." She breathes.

I take the harsh metal scissors and cut the hair. It falls to the ground, strands scattering from there original gathering.

A small smile forms across her lips.

A take Another handful and cut her free. I cut and cut, breaking the strands of hair and the faster I go the bigger her smile.

I see her hair as chains that I free her from.

She starts giggling, and I smile to, as the soft locks fall around me and assault any bare skin it can find.

I keep going, and she keeps laughing, until he black hair is short and choppy and littering the floor around us.

A small white glow seems to radiate from her skin and she looks so light she could float. I place my hands under her jaw and on the sides of her face, she relaxes into my hands.

"Open your eyes." I whisper.

She's hesitant but looks around anyways. Her eyes fall on her hair on the ground and she smiles at me with warmth and love.

"Thank you."

She slips her hands into mine and they rest between us. We don't talk. We sit and stare at each other as the bass from the party still pumps through my veins.

There's only a wall separating us from the us from the rest of the party but again it feel like we're in a whole other world.

The glowing seems brighter and I can feel a heat pulse through her hands into mine. I can feel the disturbance in the air when she breathes.

She's perfect.

I want to be close to her but I feel like any closer might kill me.

The door opens.

 _Fuck._

Castiel comes in. Looks at the hair on the floor. Scoffs. And sits unnecessarily close to me.

I can feel our little world shattering as he picks up a bag of chips and loudly inhales them.

"Can I help you?" I turn to him dropping Chaos' grip.

"Mmm yeah," He says between chips. "Silver's looking for her." He motions towards Chaos.

"Oh shit." She panics as her hands search her person. "Where's my phone?" She asks frantically as she stands up. "I don't know." I say as she smiles at me for a last time and strides out into the party. I keep my eyes glued to her as she walks out the door. "Wait!" When it shuts I feel like she took a piece of me with her.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asks me, eyebrow raised.

"Bro," I sigh, "I think I'm in love."

* * *

 **Please Review. Even if you dont like it, review**.


	3. Chapter 2

**This fanfiction is written by Chaos**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 **(About a year earlier)**

I sit on Castiel's carpet, the bass from the dancing below pulses through me rhythmically. The party slithers and slides around me. The large house spilling out at the seams with people on every floor, from the goths in the attic to the rave in the basement. I sit in the center of it all, watching the hectic crowd of hormonal children running around me. I'm surrounded by chaos and completely detached.

"Nathaniel." Silver taps on my shoulder, breaking my thoughts and materializing from the crowd like mist. She's wearing sparkly fishnet tights, black shorts and a neon green tank top, matching the green beads in her black dreadlock extensions. The smell of stripper flows around her, she must have come straight from work. "This is Chaos, keep an eye on her." She shoves a dainty girl in my direction, then quickly turns around and is consumed by the party as quickly as she appeared.

"Wait where are you going!?" I shout after her, but it's no use. She is gone.

Silver; stripper, thief, party girl extraordinaire and probably my best friend. But I'd never tell her that.

I look to the tiny girl she shoved in my direction. She has waist long black hair and piercing red eyes. A black sliced dress hugs her body, stopping just before her mid thigh. Neon blue blades slither through the cuts in her dress.

She looks too graceful to know Castiel, but that might just be the pills I took earlier.

She comes down to my level and places herself so close to me I can feel the heat radiate through her body, into mine. She crosses her legs and pulls at the dress, trying to cover as much skin as possible.

"I'm Nathaniel," I smile and shake her hand in the way I was trained from childhood, be a perfect gentleman, "And I guess I'm in charge of your wellbeing now." She smiles warmly and lets go of my hand only to be shoved into me again.

"Sorry."

She says looking up to me, her boobs pressed up against my chest.

"It's fine."

The second lasts forever, her warm body and obvious discomfort overwhelm me. I stand and take her hand, pulling her to the side of the room away from all the bustling. She looks grateful. We lean against the wall and she finally introduces herself.

"Um, Well i guess I'm Chaos now, so, it's nice to meet you." Her red eyes nervously look at her toes as she talks, this obviously isn't her crowd. I step back only for her to tightly grasp my arm. "I know this is weird." She says, her hands slightly shaking, "But I'm not good with groups I don't know, can you stay with me till I find someone?" She finally meets my eyes, the deep red burning me alive.

"Of course." I smile. She smiles. I need a drink.

I find a stray bottle on a table and an empty couch for us to sit on. I come to a party only to get stuck babysitting, Silver owes me big time.

I take deep swigs while she explains that she met Silver a good twenty minutes ago, where she promptly decided her new name was Chaos and brought her here.

A classic Silver move, always reliable.

"I like Chaos, I think it suites you." I slur, something about those eyes, "But what's your real name?"

Her face flushes, I don't think she's used to the attention.

"Kitty." She mumbles.

She seems uncomfortable talking about herself and blushes when I ask her questions, not like these self centered party bitches I'm used to. I like it.

After a while, and a few tentative sips of my vodka, she opens up more. Telling me about her life back in new england and her crazy christian mom, who would absolutely murder her if she knew where she was. There's a small spark in her eyes and her smile warms a cold place in my chest I'd forgotten about.

She's in the middle of telling me about how she just moved here, and doesn't really know anyone yet when Castiel appears above me, silencing her.

"Hey," He says tersely. "I have some 'party favors' in my room, if you're interested." He says it like he's bored, looking anywhere but me or the girl.

"I'll meet you there in a minute." I say, always down for something new in my system.

I turn back to Chaos, "K, bye. Nice meeting you."

I mean the girls cute and all, but my one true girlfriend awaits me in Castiel's wrecked bedroom. I stand up and give her a messy salute, when her hand around my arm stops me in my tracks. Her eyes are wide and desperate.

"Take me with you." She mouths.

Ugh.

I look at her, then in the direction of my goal, then back at her,

What do I do? I can't take her with me? I hate these moral dilemmas. What would a boy scout do?

Fuck, a boy scout would take her with him.

"Fine." Relief instantly spreads across her face. "But you have to be...cool, with what's going on in there. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm totally cool. Just please don't leave me."

I lead her through the house, through the crowd, to Castiel's room. I almost lose her four times in the sea of people. I snatch her hand, annoyed that she slows me down.

The stark white door of Castiel's bedroom is oddly welcoming as I open it. A few people I know and a few I don't sit in a messy circle on the floor. I take a spot against the foot of the bed and Chaos sits next to me nervously bouncing her knee. Everyone sloppily gathered in impatience. We look like we're about to sacrifice a virgin to Satan, but in reality it's a much more destructive ritual.

Castiel sits with a small box in his lap, the center of attention. He pulls a grimey old silver spoon out of his pocket and the ritual begins. We all watch in deep infatuation as he pours powdered gold into his spoon, mixing it with his pinkie and letting some greedy whore lick it off his fingers. The pure, holy aroma of white china heroin finds my nose and my mouth waters as the heavenly orange liquid is absorbed up through the needle and into the syringe. When he hits the cold metal and plunges pure pleasure directly into his arm, his head falls back and a large smile fractures his stone face. A smile only dope can bring about. He sinks deep into himself passing off the needle to his left, right to Chaos.

She stares at the empty used syringe in shock as it sits in her hands. Her eyes pass from the needle to me, from one harmful piece of trash to another.

"Go ahead." I tell her.

The room bleeds into black around her, glitching and short circuiting so that the only thing distinguishable is her. A clean patch in my inkspill world.

She moves slowly and carefully, the world bending around her. Flames engulf the spoon and I am transfixed as she fills the needle with poison. She taps the syringe and pushes out the bubbles, taking a rubber band from a girl with dreads across from her when-

"WAIT." I interject. "That just came out of Castiel's arm," I say taking the needle from her hand. "And he has like twelve STD's" I disinfect the needle with my lighter then hand it back to her.

"I can't have him infecting my little flower."

A look of subtle curiosity spreads across her face as I hand her the shot, but she says nothing. She rolls the band up her delicate, pale arm, securing the knot with her teeth.

She moves in slow motion, sharp white teeth flashing at me from behind lush lips. Her legs crossed floating a few inches above the ground, thick jet black hair flowing around her as she levitates in front of me. I catch ruby eyes just before they twinge in pain. Her jaw tightens, she freezes for just a moment before collapsing and it's as if I can see her soul leaving her body as she drifts to the ground and falls into my lap. Her sharp bloody red eyes have softened and look up at me with compassion. She raises a hand and lightly brushes my face before breaking into a quiet laugh, her whole body radiating joy. This joy leaks into me and I fall back into reality while she ascends out of it, the room coming back into focus.

"C'mon, Giggly. It's my turn."

I take her needle and cook for myself, smiling down at her occasionally. I just can't help it, she bring out this gay side of me. I untie her band and use it for my own shot, smiling at the familiar sting of the needle.

"Hey, aren't you going to clean it?" She asks me, "What if I give you something?"

I look down at her and take my shot.

"Oh, I'll take anything from you." I tell her, she blushes slightly, I hand the needle off to the next junkie.

Time passes independently of us as we lay in silence in the center of Castiel's floor. We mirror each other on our backs, her head by my feet. People coming and going as they please but we stay put, content in our own little world. We're not touching, but she feels closer to me than physically possible, and my heart pounds uncomfortably in my chest. Her voice speaks so softly I almost don't hear it at first, but it's unmistakable.

"Nathaniel?" The word is born somewhere to the left of my toes.

I sit up to look at her. "Yeah?"

She lays perfectly still across from me. Her hair making large spirals on the floor. Her porcelain face starts to turn pink and large tears well up in her perfect eyes, spilling over and splashing onto the floor, leaving dark circles in the carpet.

In a very sudden movement she snaps her knees to her chest and slams her head into her hands. She pulls tight at the roots of her hair, as if to pull out all of the pain and suffering she's endured. "Nathaniel." She looks at me with wide wet eyes. "Make it stop." Her tears continue to fall in between gasps as her hands pull harder at her hair. "Make the pain stop."

A feeling splashes through me. I don't know what it is, all I know is I'm not okay with it. I don't know what to do. Do I touch her? Leave her?

She pulls at her hair again actually succeeding in removing some strands.

"Stop!" I grab her wrists and struggle with her withering, bending form.

"Make it stop." She keeps crying, more to the world than to me.

"Fine." I cup her face with my hands, looking deep into her red eyes. "I'll make the pain stop." Her tears are temporarily halted as she watches me stand, walk over to Castiel's bedside table, open a drawer and remove a pair of scissors.

I touch her arm gingerly. She doesn't resist so I help her into a sitting position, her holding my stare constantly. The tears haven't stopped but they fall silently instead of dramatically. I sit on my knees mirroring her, "I'm going to make it all better, okay?" and in that moment that's all I want. I want to make everything in her life all better. For the rest of her life.

I run my fingers through her hair and she closes her eyes. The silk dark strands fall through my fingertips. I gather a small amount in my hand.

"Ready?" I whisper.

"Ready." She breathes.

I take the harsh metal scissors and cut the hair. It falls to the ground, strands scattering from their original gathering.

A small smile forms across her lips.

A take Another handful and cut her free. I cut and cut, breaking the strands of hair and the faster I go the bigger her smile. She starts giggling, and I smile too, as the soft locks fall around me and assault any bare skin it can find.

I keep going, and she keeps laughing, until her black hair is short and choppy and littering the floor around us.

A small white glow seems to radiate from her skin and she looks so light she could float. I place my hands under her jaw and on the sides of her face, she relaxes into my hands.

"Open your eyes." I whisper.

She's hesitant but looks around anyways. Her eyes fall on her hair on the ground and she smiles at the mess with such gratitude.

"You know, my grandmother used to tell me we hold our sorrow in our hair." Her vulnerable swollen eyes meet mine.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She smiles at me and electricity crackles through my chest. "Thank you."

She slips her hands into mine and they rest between us. We don't talk. We sit and stare at each other as the bass from the party still pumps through my veins.

There's only a wall separating us from the rest of the party but again it feels like we're in another world.

The glowing seems brighter and I can feel a heat pulse through her hands into mine. I can feel the disturbance in the air when she breathes.

She's perfect.

I want to be close to her but I feel like any closer might kill me.

The door opens.

Fuck.

Castiel comes in. Looks at the hair on the floor. Scoffs. And sits unnecessarily close to me.

I can feel our little world shattering as he picks up a bag of chips and loudly inhales them.

"Can I help you?" I turn to him dropping Chaos' grip.

"Mmm yeah," He says between chips. "Silver's looking for her." He motions towards Chaos.

"Oh shit." She panics as her hands search her person. "Where's my phone?" She asks frantically as she stands up. "I don't know." I say as she smiles at me for a last time and strides out into the party. I keep my eyes glued to her as she walks out the door. "Wait!" When it shuts I feel like she took a piece of me with her.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asks me, eyebrow raised.

"Bro," I sigh, "I think I'm in love."

* * *

 **Please Review, even if you dont like it review**


	4. Chapter 3

**This fanfiction is written by Chaos Cherry**

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Early morning light invades my livingroom and disturbs my sleep.

I'm not ready.

Nope.

I keep my eyes closed and stretch my limbs. I expand the length of the couch and contract, rolling onto my side. I go to yawn until my breath is cut off by a suffocating ball of hair to the face.

I open one eye timidly.

She's asleep, pressed against my chest and half falling off the couch. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps. Her eyes are closed, concealing the chaotic red that haunts me. I run my hand through her hair and down her back.

I try not to wake her as I climb over the back of the couch. I loose my balance and fall flat on my face on the other side making a loud thud. Miraculously when I look over the edge she's still asleep.

God I need a smoke.

I find the cigarettes on the coffee table but I can't find my lighter. I check my pants from the night before but come up short. I go over to the burner on the stove and turn it on, lighting my cigarette.

I inhale pulling the smoke deep into my lungs.

Just what I needed. I dainty hand reaches from behind me and turns off the stove. Chaos may be the only person who cares if I burn my apartment down.

I turn around expecting her delicate stance, but that's not what I get.

"You're welcome, dumbass." Amber says, taking my cigarette from my mouth.

"What are you doing here?" I ask the obnoxious blonde sitting on my kitchen counter. Turquoise beads flow around her neck matching her eyes. "Just came to visit to you big brother." She says with obvious sarcasm in her voice. She rolls my cigarette around in her fingers. A mischievous look in her eyes.

I want to hit her. I want to hit her and tell her she doesn't know what I've been through. I want to throw a toaster at her.

I walk up and rip my cigarette from her hands. "Woah." She says at my sudden anger. The last time me and Amber saw each other she was crying saying how father loved her and could never do anything like beat me. If only that were true, after that I left for college only to drop out and become an addict. I bet Father is _so_ proud.

I walk over to Chaos and point to her. "Do not touch her." I mouth to Amber as I drag my cigarette and head towards the bathroom, a not so quiet rage burning inside of me.

It takes so little effort for my fist to go through the mirror, I almost doubt that it did, if it wasn't for the shatter and the blood running down my wrist.

I look at my broken reflection, my eyes are wild and my arm is covered in blood. I look terrifying. I lean against the door and run the bloody fingers through my hair, tugging the roots bringing me into reality, I need to clean up and then I'll go back out there. I rinse the blood from my hair and my torn skin. The cuts are deep, and the pain is slowly creeping in. Previously masked by anger the wounds sting when I disinfect them, I toss the bloody cloth into the garbage, knocking it over.

Fuck.

I start shoving old tissues into the metal can when I'm confronted by a hard pink piece of plastic. A little blue plus sign in the clear window.

What the fuck is this?

¨What the fuck is this?" I yell bursting into the kitchen, holding the positive pregnancy test in my mangled hand.

Amber raises an eyebrow and goes back to her chips.

¨Well?¨

"What?" She rolls her eyes at the pink plastic in my hand. "Oh that? I think it's defective."

 _God_.

"Defective?" I say swinging my arms out in a dramatic manner. "If you can't remember mom thought we were 'defective' too. And here we are." At this point Chaos has woken up and started eating chips with Amber. I love her but Amber has my full attention.

Amber throws the chips down onto my coffee table, Chaos follows after them eagerly.

"Excuse me." Amber says walking up to me. "But it's MY body, not yours." I'm about to beat the shit out of her when tears start to form in the corners of her eyes.

…What?

"I-it's-" tears start to flow free as she collapses, barely able to grasp the words. "my body…" She whimpers before falling apart and dropping to the ground. My anger is quickly extinguished as I fall to her side, wrapping my arms around her. She may be dumb as fuck but she is still my flesh and blood. Amber continues to wail as we rock back and forth on my kitchen floor. I run my fingers through her golden flaxen hair as she weeps.

She cries and warm salty tears fall onto me. Suddenly I feel ten again, consoling my little sister after a nightmare, pushing my fingers through her soft hair and down her back while she swallows sobs and coughs up sorrow.

"It's okay, it's all going to be okay." I hold her close, shielding her from a harsh reality. I look around the kitchen. Chaos has left the room, but set a glass of water on the floor next to me. I let Amber blow her nose into my shirt before I hand her the water. A silence sits between us.

"Do our parents know?" I don't want to see them. I want nothing to do with them. But Amber needs more than I can give, and more than she can get from herself.

"No." She whimpers as she wipes her eyes and sips water. I can tell she doesn't know what to do about this situation, neither do I, but we have to do something.

"Who's the father?"

Amber takes a deep breath. "...Jade."

I pause and think. "Who the fuck is Jade?"

"You know," she says to me with big eyes, "He's friends with Dake."

I pause yet again, an uncontrollable feeling sits inside me waiting for something to push me over the edge. "Who the fuck is Dake?"

Amber sighs and rolls her eyes.

"It doesn't matter, Jade is a grower, I met him at a party. He's funny."

" _Funny?"_ I seath "You got pregnant for _funny_?"

Excuses bubble up and spill out of her mouth but I'm not interested. I shove my fingers through my matted hair and dig my nails into my skin, trying to ground myself.

What the fuck am I going to do with her? I sure as hell can't afford to take care of her if she carries it to term… My only option is to take her to Texas, she needs my parents support. They would do anything for precious little Amber. If I got someone pregnant I'd be on my own, I hope she realizes how lucky she is.

"Nathaniel?" She looks at me with big glassy eyes, threatening to well up and flood my kitchen any second.

"Go call mom. We're going on a road trip."

I regret the words immediately, the last thing I want to do is face the man who beat me when I was defenceless and the woman who stood by and watched. But what other choice do I have?

The plan so far.

Find Jade.

Tell Jade about the pregnancy.

Possibly kick Jade's ass.

Definitely rob Jade for "child support."

Flawless plan.

12am

The cheap vinyl sticks to my skin where my shirt has ridden up. Bubbly doo-wop from the twenty's plays from a jukebox in a corner. My friends argue loudly and fight about what to order. I look out the window and am met with only black and confronted with my own disastrous reflection. I'd send my fist through the window but this is a place I can't get kicked out of. Chaos touches my shoulder bringing me back to the group.

"C'mon Nathaniel agrees with me." Silver shouts, throwing a hand in my direction. "If you only drink half of a five hour energy you get two and half hours full energy."

"No way! Five hours half assed energy makes way more sense." Sayuri throws her arm around her boyfriend, Lysander.

They turn to me, wanting input.

"Whatever, I'm with Silver- I have to pee." I stand and Chaos lets me out of the booth, she asks me if I'm okay with her eyes and I nod.

It's a lie, in all honesty I'm falling apart.

I turn the lock to the bathroom door and slide to the ground before I even register the click.

I intake in the drugs eagerly.

The powder mixes with natural fluids and drips down the back of my throat. Electricity crackles in my heart and spreads to my fingertips, awakening my nerves and pulling me to a higher level. Suddenly the whole world seems brighter, bigger, richer, and I could rule it all. This world is mine. I leap to my feet with a newfound purpose, the energy coursing through me pushes me to my next destination. That's why I like blow. It's never content with the present, always pushing you onto the next thing there's no time to sit and think there's only time for action.

I smile as I open the bathroom door. A rush courses through me. I'm invincible, I can take on the entire world, I am the king, an item of perfection, I'm-

Pain hits my face. I fall to the ground. "What the fuck?" I moan. I look up and am met with dazzling sky blue eyes. A girl with wavy brown hair sits on the floor, a hand rubbing her head. Her little blue waitress uniform is disheveled, and revealing a bit more skin than appropriate.

"Melody?" I ask recognizing the quiet, pianist that always helped out the student council.

She looks to me. "Nathaniel?"

I nod, and display my crooked smile. I saw her last, right after the secret about me and my father got out.

I was oblivious to her feelings, I had no idea she liked me. Needless to say her confession was a shock, she wanted to give me her heart, but I didn't feel the same. When I thought I didn't need anyone, she thought I needed her.

I smile, "Hi Melody." Instantly her face changes. Shock to pure joy.

"Nathaniel!" She instantly gets on her feet and sticks her hand out to help me up. Okay. I can work with this.

Accepting her hand I stand up only to almost be knocked over again. I look down at my chest, Melody has firmly wrapped her arms around my waist.

"I'm so glad to see you."

"Umm yeah… good to see you too." I put my arms around her shoulders and rub her back lightly. She looks up at me resting her chin on my chest. Her soft eyes drawing me in.

"How have you been?" She tightens her grasp on my middle. I can feel her love for me wrapping around me like thick fog, it mingles with her perfume. The heat she radiates is clouding my thoughts.

"I've been alright." I have to admit her embrace feels nice. After everything that happened between us I hadn't expected such a warm welcome.

We stand still, feeling each others heart beat having what I think is a touching moment.

 _*Cough Cough*_

The moment is shattered, destroyed, burned in a fire. Chaos stands in front of me, a shocked face I can only describe as betrayal sits on flawless features. Silver has popped her head around the corner, her face holding the look of rage.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Silver yells as she quickly moves towards us. I try to dodge but it's already too late. Silver has her onyx black nails wrapped and slithered into Melody's brown locks. She pulls her violently out of my grasp and to the floor.

"Bitch!" Silver straddles Melody's waist as she slashes at Melody's face and chest. Melody screams gaining attention of _everyone_ in the diner.

Instantly our friends are on her, pulling her off of the screaming Melody. Castiel scoops up silver and throw her over his shoulder as she claws at the air, still going for blood.

"We're leaving. _Now_." He says giving me a pointed look. He carries Silver out to the car as she screams over his shoulder.

" _Put me down._ I am not done with her! That bitch has it coming and you know it, let me at her! I'll come back for you bitch!"

Everyone but me and Chaos follow them out. I give Melody my hand to help her up. Her glossy eyes are flooded with tears and she sniffles slightly. There are three deep bleeding scratches on her left cheek and several smaller ones litter her arms and chest.

"I should really go… Are you going to be okay?"

She doesn't say anything, she just throws herself into my arms. "I was s-so scared." She shakes as her tears fall into my shoulder. I instinctively wrap my arms around the waist of the crying girl. This is starting to become troublesome.

Chaos stands near us, not taking her eyes off me. I look at her, my blue eyes meeting her red. Neither of us are okay with Melody being all over me. Her eyes are filled with a determined anger and she burns us alive with that stare.

I grasp Melody's shoulders and gently push her away from me. Her eyeliner has run and she looks like shit. "It was nice seeing you." I say, letting go of her. Her eyes are wide with shock as I turn my back and walk towards the door, Chaos's arm tightly in my grasp.

By the time we've reached the car Silver is in the passenger seat of Castiel's huge suburban eating giant marshmallows and looking content. Sayuri, Lysander, and Amber dominate the middle row and try to get comfortable.

I release Chaos's arm. I'm such a dick. Because I fucked up in the past I've made things weird between me and Chaos. She is probably wondering what happened between me and Melody in the past. Do I tell her? Do I have to tell her? Yes, I'm not going to keep secrets from the woman I love. I don't want to be that kind of person.

I turn around fully ready to tell Chaos my deepest darkest secrets, but that motivation is forgotten when Chaos's tongue enters my mouth. I'm shocked as the small frail girl stands on her tippie toes and pushes herself up against me, her mouth touching mine.

I'm shocked but fall to her sweet taste. I lift her up a bit and lean against the back of the car as Chaos leads the way. Her skin is soft and inviting, warm under my touch she's everything I imagined she'd be. She fits against me perfectly as her hands scan my body, she moans when I bite her lip, I fall through the earth as her body tells me what she wants, which from what I can tell, is me. My senses are in overdrive and all I can perceive is her. It feels like everything has lead up to this moment, all of my pent up desires crash into her, and she pushes it back into me.

Nothing is hidden, everything we feel is out in the open, a powerful wanting desire that is shared between just the two of us consumes everything we are. Slowly we stop, our breath heavy and hot.

Chaos breathes heavily as her fingers graze my jawline.

Something warm and wanting forms in my pants. Oh shit. My boner pushes against my zipper, cheapening my moment.

We look at each other. I love this woman. I go to tangle my fingers in her white hair, but she slips her fingers into mine first. I go into kiss her one more time, but a sharp pain forms at the back of my head.

"Ouch!" I flinch as she tugs and twists my hair in her fingers. I look to her, wondering what I did wrong to deserve the sudden pain but my mouth is sealed shut when I see the look on her face.

She pulls tighter at my hair and lowers my face to hers. Fear sits in my bones as I'm crammed in between a red eyed witch and the car.

"You," She says, her red eyes burning into my soul, "You belong to me." She looks at me as if I'm a prize. "I own you." She whispers as she lightly kisses my cheek.

She releases me and moves toward the car.

"Holy shit." I say looking at this object of power and beauty.

"Hmm?" She smiles as she looks over her shoulder.

"I love you." I say quietly as I stare at the work of art in front of me. Chaos giggles.

"Love you too."

* * *

 **Please review, even if you dont like it, review.**


	5. Chapter 4

_**This fanfiction is written by Chaos Cherry**_ ㇮6

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

On the road again.

Taco Bell drive through.

Castiel attempts to order food for a party of seven.

...Well technically eight.

He turns down the metal blasting through the car as Silver stretches across him and orders for us all. When the guy asks for money Castiel is too distracted by Silver's ass in his face.

"Dude!" I yell and throw cash to the front of the vehicle, me and Chaos claimed the far back. Everyone else starts throwing money and Silver retracts to her seat when Amber hits her in the tit with a nickel. She claims the majority of the food but offers a taco to each couple, saving at least 12 for herself.

We take off again, Sayuri argues with Silver for more food while Amber tries to give Castiel directions to Jade's house, she's having trouble considering last time she was there she was trashed.

Chaos sips on soda and leans into me, rubbing small circles on the back of my hand with her thumb.

I want her so bad, her touch is addictive. Even the smallest contact sends my senses into overdrive. Do I go for it? _Can_ I go for it? I mean she kissed me already that should mean I can go for it.

I slip my hand between her knees and start running my my fingers along the inside of her thigh, testing the waters. Her cheeks turn pink and she sets down her soda, but doesn't say anything or push me away. I don't dare push my hand any higher. I take a quick look ahead of us to make sure everyone is occupied before burying my face in the crook of her neck. I scatter a small trail of kisses down her neck and jawline before her body tenses up.

Instantly I stop. "I'm so sorry." I quickly remove my hand and body, from Chaos's touch. I crossed a boundary. How could I just break our trust like that?

"No wait," She scoots a bit close to me and blushes deep. "I just… I've never… Done anything like this." She looks down at her toes.

"Oh." That's all I can say as I return to my place near her side. "Well."

"...yeah." We sit in silence as Silver yells at Amber about directions. Fuck, this is not the time or place to rock this girl's world.

"Hey." I yell up to the front.

"What?" Castiel replies, slightly annoyed, as he swerves a little.

"We need a room." Those are the only words I have to say and without a seconds notice Castiel is making the sharpest U-turn. Silver asks where to as she gets condoms out of her wallet. "Do you want Magnums, Lifestyles, what about ribbed for her pleasure, You guys totally need glow in the dark." Dozens of condoms are thrown at us as I try to talk to Castiel.

"I'm guessing you want class?" Castiel asks as we make eye contact through the rearview mirror.

"Fuck yeah." I grin as I kiss Chaos on the forehead, she giggles and lightly bites my arm.

"Sky's it is."

"But what about Jade?" Amber asks, a slightly frantic look on her face. I love her, but shut the fuck up.

"We can do that tomorrow, besides, I almost can't really see the road anymore so we need to find a destination and stay there." Castiel laughs as Silver takes the wheel and helps him stay on the road.

"Well can't someone else drive?" The frantic edge in her voice is totally killing my vibe.

"Amber, do you really think any of us are sober enough to drive?" Silver giggles. "Either get out and walk or come with us to Sky's." Amber shuts up and leans against her door, huffing a bit.

"Welcome!" Sky opens his eyes wide as we all stumble into his front yard, he stands on his front porch like a king overseeing his kingdom, his pants slightly falling off. Sayuri and Lysander sit with Sky's roommates, who are playing monopoly on the porch. Castiel carries Silver into the house bridal style, and Yuki, the queen of Sky's kingdom, helps Amber into the house. I take Chaos's hand.

Sky greets us warmly and when he asks if we need anything I do not hesitate.

"We need a room." He smiles knowingly and motions for us to follow. He leads us through the living room, where Silver falls over Castiel while he tries to talk with Sky's sister Mae. Ferrets run under our toes and Chaos giggles.

"Don't you love my family?"

"Can it be my family too?"

I kiss her hand and she moves closer to me as Sky leads us up the steps. Zack and Charles are using their room and the basement isn't very romantic so we get the special treatment. Sky opens the bedroom door as my heart beats through my entire being. Why is my heart so loud? Was it always this loud? Am I nervous? Of course I'm nervous, I love her. This is important.

"This is Mae's room so don't break anything. You kids have fun." He winks at me then walks back into the house, shutting the door behind him.

God Sky way to sooth my nerves. Chaos meanders around taking in our small palace. The walls are painted black and thick purple curtains are drawn, closing out the light of the moon. Thick silks in deep purples and blues hang around her canopy bed, the lush carpet and large candles make me feel like I'm in a gothic castle, rather than a decrepit drug den. I must admit Mae did a wonderful job. Chaos lights candles and I try to gather myself.

My hands are shaking and my heart is beating so hard I worry I'll bust a rib.

 _Calm down moron. This isn't your first time._

But it's hers, and I want it to be perfect. It sure as hell won't be unless I calm down. I take three deep breaths and focus on the bass pumping through the carpet from downstairs. Soft laughter bubbles through the floors. The air is thick.

She intertwines her fingers in mine and pulls me to the edge of the bed. I hold her there for a moment, slipping my hands around her waist and pull her into me. Her sharp red eyes peer into my soul and all of nerves dissolve. I love her. I want to give her the world. I want to make her feel things she has never felt, I want to give her all of me.

"I love you." I tell her. She smiles warmly, pulling me into her. We fall into the soft warm abyss of silk sheets and down blankets. She answeres my confession of love with actions not words, running warm soft hands over my body. Heat radiates and spreads from each point of contact. Soothing all of my frayed ends and mending all of the cracks in my soul. I kiss her perfect forehead then draw the curtains around the bed, sealing our small bubble. Hiding us from everything else leaving only room for the two of us. Creating our own little world, we seem to visit a lot. She giggles and sits against the headboard.

I sit across from her and take her hand, I love her hands. I love her skin, her freckles, her hair, her...everything. I love every piece of her, I have never gotten this feeling sober, am I sober? Oh well. I brush my fingers through her hair, stopping at her jaw to tilt her head with mine. I want to preserve this moment but time is of the essence and the beauty of a moment is that it's fleeting, being chased by the next. So I chase it away and connect our lips. Instantly I am overwhelmed. I feel her body relax into mine and pull her into my lap. We push into each other with a new hungry desire, I've never felt before but am so grateful for. Layer after layer of clothing is lost. She eagerly pushes off my clothing but I am delicate with her, careful not to hurt my beautiful flower. Again I feel like my world is glass. Any wrong step and the whole thing shatters. So I make every movement slow and soft. Small goosebumps wash over her skin when I touch her. I am delighted by the way her breath catches.

I can feel her heartbeat pulsing through her into me as I push my, for lack of a better word, dick into her. We dissolve into each other as the world falls out around us. I kiss her neck and down her stomach, wanting to be as generous as I can be with every touch. I move slowly, being sure her first time isnt a regretful one. Her breathing matched with her nails lightly raking my back tell me I'm doing something right. I want to move faster but I have to be considerate. She's probably overwhelmed as it is, I know I was the first time. The rush of chemicals and busy hands…

Fuck I need to focus. I bring our lips together again and lose my train of thought, completely caught back in the moment. Totally losing myself in something as simple as a kiss, taking in the exact way it feels to have nothing but her skin pressed against mine, god I want her so bad.

Placing her hands on my chest, she pulls back.

"Is something wrong?" Did I do something wrong? Oh fuck, maybe she's not ready. I've pushed her into a situation she wasn't ready for. What have I done?

"Yeah." She says, "You're taking too long." She flashes me a devilish grin. She rolls us over and aggressively straddles my hips.

 _Oh._

I smile broadly at the woman that I love. She doesn't want me to baby her, she wants me ravish her, treat her like the goddess she is, and that I can _definitely_ do. I sit up to meet her in the middle and grab her hips possessively. I drown myself in her. Determined to rock her world. I bite down on her shoulders as she digs her nails into anything she can get ahold of. Loud moans of pleasure mix with the music pulsing from below. Someone downstairs knocks on the ceiling with a broom to shut us up, but I'm that only fuels my determination. She squeals and laughs when flip her quickly onto her back. She keeps giggling as a increase our rhythm and burry my face in her neck again. Her laugh makes me so happy, I am so grateful to be here. With her. I rest my forehead on hers and feel her ragged breath against my face. I am so overwhelmed with this feeling of love for her, a feeling I have never felt for anyone else I want to stay with her like this forever. Yeah, I could spend the rest of my life in this bed-

"Fuck." I mumble as all my drive and ambition is washed out by a heavy wave of pleasure. Time stops for a moment, but when I come back to reality I meet her concerned deep red eyes.

"A-already?" Shit. I was trying to blow her mind. She has been nothing but an angel and this is how I repay her? I have no self control.

"I'm sorry…" I get off of her and retract to my own separate corner of our bubble.

"No no honey." She moves closer to me and licks her lips. "You're….perfect." She says in between kisses.

Oh God. What have I gotten myself into.

* * *

 **Please review, even if you dont like it, review.**

 **Whatcha think? I think it was nice. Do you think it was nice? I'm pretty sure it was nice.** ㈄9


	6. Chapter 5

**This fanfiction is written by Chaos Cherry**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

You would think the morning was perfect. Sun lightly streams in through the thick purple curtains. Chaos lays petitely on my arm, nothing but sheets covering her delicate frame. I slide my fingers lightly over her collarbones, causing her to wake a little.

"Hi." I whisper as I place a light kiss on her forehead.

"Goodmorning." She giggles as she rubs her face and looks to me. Her hair ruffled, eyes soft, skin, so smooth, she is perfect. I pull her close to me, her bare body on mine. I lean in to kiss her, to taste her sweet scent one more -

* _Intense screaming*_

Me and Chaos jump at the sound of bloody murder. Well, who knows if it was murder, but it sure as hell sounded like it.

"W-what's that?" Chaos asks, startled that the screaming was coming from down stairs. I get out of bed and slip on my boxers, adrenaline filling my system.

"I don't know but you stay here." I say looking to her protectively. She nods, pulling the sheets around her tighter as if to make me feel she was safe.

I open the door and head downstairs, towards the screaming and rustling of bodies. "Get her out of here!" I hear someone yell as glass shatters. People yell as I look around the corner. Sayuri hides behind Lysander as he protectively stands in front of her, Castiel has pushed Yuki up against a wall, keeping him out of broken bottle range, Amber hides behind the kitchen counter as several of Sky's roommates stand around the room all looking at one thing.

Silver.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-" She whimpers over and over again as blood drips down her arm. She sloppily straddles Sky as he holds her tight, blood dripping down one of his temples.

"Shhh, It's ok, shhhh, everything's ok." He coo's as he gently rocks her back and forth. Glass and different trash litter the room, accompanied by vomit, making it a danger room for anyone without shoes.

Sky stands up, carrying Silver as delicately as he can. "Can you clean this up?" Sky asks everyone as he motions to the room. A few people nod, the entire room silent except for Silvers broken sobs. Sky then caries Silver out the front door and on to the porch where he tries to comfort the broken girl.

"W-what happened?" I hear a voice behind me. I turn and see Chaos, her eyes wide with worry. I don't want her to see this.

"Get back upstairs." I say pushing her away as if to hide her from what she's already seen.

"They were fucking Idiots that's what happened." Everyone in the room looks to Sayuri. She spits her words like venom. "These motherfuckers," She says pointing to two of Sky roommates, "thought it was a good fucking idea to shoot up with Silver here!"

"It's not our fault the bitch's got a problem with needles. How were we supposed to know?" They defend, as if they did nothing wrong.

"She's been coming here for 7 fucking years! When you moved in Sky said no needles in front of Silver! YOU FUCKING NEW YET YOU STILL DID!" She screams at them, making them look to the floor in shame. They fucked up big. Everyone know's no needles in front of Silver, not after what happened with her mom.

We hear Silvers cries stop, cuing the room to start moving again. Several people start picking up the room as Sky comes back in to get the First Aid kit.

"She ok?" Castiel asks as Sky dabs his bloody temple with a cotton ball.

"Kinda." Sky says closing up the first aid kit and handing it to Castiel. "Go see for yourself."

Castel hesitates before taking the kit and heading towards the porch, Sky takes Yuki and kisses him hard.

"Looking good big bro." Amber hollars from the kitchen as I realise I'm only wearing my boxers.

What a fucked up morning.

I look out the window to see Silver laying against Castiel on the front porch. We need to leave.

"Tell everyone to be ready to go in twenty minutes, we have to go find your baby daddy." I holler at Amber then head up the stairs to get Chaos.

I knock lightly and hear a muffled "Come in from the other side." Pushing open the heavy door is always like entering a whole new era. The smell of thick incense washes over me like a heavy fog. Mae is laying on a made bed while Chaos spins in a small circle in front of her,

"You look perfect." She prrrs at my girlfriend. Is she my girlfriend? Have I earned the right to call her my own? I know she owns me, but to try to claim ownership of her seams wong. She is a free spirit, like a goddess. Or a fairy by the way Mae has dressed her, pretty green fabric leaves and little pink flowers make up a small top and little skirt, hugging her body tight. She has tucked little flowers in her star white hair and added pixie dust sparkles to every area of exposed skin.

This is obviously an outfit put together for a stripper.

"Mae what the hell is this? You know we're going to a drug dealers house she can't wear that." I stand behind her and start undoing the ridiculous amount of clasps holding it on her, but the withdrawal symptoms are slowly sinking in and my hands aren't cooperating with me as small bugs start stirring under my skin.

"Nathaniel, it's fine." Mae stand to address me properly, "I know Jade and this is a guaranteed in for you." Her honey sweet voice drips into my mind and clouds my thoughts. I've never been all that attracted to Mae but she has this quality to her, she is a siren. The way her soft eyes meet yours and the sugar sweet tone of her voice, there's no way you could disobey her. A queen in her own right the long black hair and soft, yet confident, body language disarms you immediately.

There's no use arguing with her and I really need a fix so give in.

"Fine but put her in a jacket." I grab my clothes from around the floor suddenly remembering I'm still not dressed. "We leave in ten."

 _~Thirty minutes later~_

We're all piled into Castiel's suburban.

Castiel's driving, Mae has shotgun because she's the only person that actually knows how to get to Jade's house, and the rest of us sprawl and squish into the back rows and Silver seems to _somehow_ be touching everyone. Chaos is sitting on my lap in a big fleece jacket and radiating the smell of jasmine while I pick holes in my crawling skin. Silver swings herself upright and looks at me intently.

"What's wrong Nataniel?" She taunts me, pulling a small bag of cocaine out of her bra. "Are you missing something?" She dangles it in front of my face.

"No." I say holding out my hand for the bag. "I am beyond that." I take the bag. "I don't need to subject myself-" I taste a bit of the white powder. "to any of your primal releases." I unzip Chaos's jacket, "And furthermore," I lay a thick line across the top of each breast, she doesn't protest. "I am offended that you think me to be so weak," I do my lines. "to need such poisons to make it through my night." Silver laughs hysterically and snatches the bag away while I bury my face in Chaos's cleavage.

"What are you doing?" She laughs as we bump down the highway.

"Looking for more cocaine." I push around further. "It blends in perfectly with your pale skin, I would hate to miss any."

Suddenly I am propelled to the side as Castiel jerks the wheel to knock me out of my seat. Silver cackles at me and catches Chaos so she doesn't fall over.

"Trade with me." She suddenly blurts out.

"What?" I rub the swollen and tender spot where my head collided with the window.

"Trade spots with me." She looks me dead in the eyes with a stern expression.

"What? No."

The sweet sounds of music, heavy bass, and built up voices bubble out of Jade's house as we pull up. Chaos and Silver are cuddled up in the far back and have been whispering like schoolgirls for the past twenty minutes.

I pull the sock from my bleeding nose and throw it at Silver, who punched me in the face when I refused to trade with her.

"We're here!" I shout and hop out of the suburban before Castiel can even put the car in park.

The crew spills out sloshing onto the sidewalk and stumbling into each other with about as much grace as my little band of addicts can muster. The sun is far below the horizon and the moon lights up a large lawn with a little help from the oversized cracked marbles spread around the yard. About the size of soccer balls they emit soft light while small groups lay around them staring at the stars, damn I wish I was as high as they are.

Chaos intertwines her fingers in mine and runs her fingertips over the scabs on my knuckles, leaning into me slightly in her large fleece jacket. "Are you ready for this?" She asks tightening her grip on my hand a bit to reassure me. I am grateful.

"The real question is if she's ready." I motion to Amber who is standing about a foot away, I worried look painted on her face and a protective hand on her stomach.

The group looks to her, awaiting her word, signaling for us to launch into action. Silver has made herself comfortable on Castiel's back ready to charge into battle, Sayuri and Lysander stand tall at her side.

Amber looks over our little family and gives a weak smile.

"I'm ready."

I give Chaos a small kiss and let go of her hand, walking up to amber and offering her my arm.

"Let's go?" She takes my arm and smiles with gratitude before tugging my arm and leading her little army up the front porch. We may not be the strongest people, but we have nothing to lose, and right now she could say one word and we would go balls to the wall to protect her.

It's apparent that this isn't our kind of party the second we step through the front door of the large farm style house. Instead of the sea of people crashing into each other that I'm used to there are small puddles of people spilling around the entire two story house. A strange mix of classical and techno plays, puncturing the light violin sound with heavy bass. There are a group of people playing Go Fish and drinking tea, the table littered in cash and assorted pieces of clothing. There's a bowl of mushrooms on the coffee table they eat like chips.

There are similar scenes going on all around the house, the only change being the drug on the table. The light is dim and the smoke in the air is thick like a bank of clouds gathering in the high ceilinged room.

It's like the twilight zone in here and I'm starting to feel light headed from the smoke.

The people ignore us and Silver is the first to make a move. She appears out of nowhere from behind me bursting and stumbling into the middle of the room, getting the attention of a few people.

"I demand attention!" She screams, causing conversations in the room to stop. She stands her arms thrown out wide, waiting for the attention she oh so expects.

After a second someone starts applauding her, soon the entire house is applauding and cheering Silver on. She smiles, giggling as people start cheering. She bows, letting the stoners get back to their everyday business. "I'm satisfied." She sighs as me and Chaos appear next to her. "But I'm gonna go off for a little bit," She reaches into my back pocket and takes out my phone, slipping it into her pocket. "I'll see you guys later." With that she disappears into the smoke, leaving me, Chaos, and Amber to find Jade.

"We're," Mae says slipping her arm around Chaos's. "gonna go dancing," Mae drags Chaos off towards a room, leaving me void of love.

Sayuri and Lysander have disappeared too.

Fine.

I don't need them. I can do this myself.

I am a fucking grown ass adult I can handle my own responsibilities.

I turn around, fully ready to punch responsibility, and find Jade when. "Amber?" I ask to the smoky air. Where the fuck did she go? I look around the pools of quiet stoners, not finding my blonde haired twin.

Fuck.

I start exploring the house, trying to find my bitch of a sister. I try so hard to help her, and this is how she repays me? Fuck her.

After walking through several rooms, all of which have neon, glow in the dark, or rainbow paintings covering the walls.

After an hour passes I open a door. Green warm lights shine down on 6ft tall Marijuana plants. A man with neon green hair stands in the middle of the room, black growing out at his roots. He's wearing black zipper cargo pants and a fishnet tanktop, showing his abs; a lower face gas mask covers his mouth, letting only his Jade green eyes communicate with you. In front of him stands my bitchy blonde sister.

I walk up to Amber and the mystery man as he spray paints a naked woman on the wall, the woman looking scarily close to Amber. (Except for the Machine gun in her hands)

"Amber." I say pissed she made me look for her. "I am trying to help you. Don't fucking leave without telling me."

She says nothing. Fuck she doesn't even acknowledge my presence, she just stares at the green haired artist. Suddenly I catch on.

"Oh," I say eyes wide. "This is Jade."

Amber nods as Jade turns around. He sets his paint can down and takes a step towards me. "Depends on who the fuck is asking." Jade says, stepping intimidatingly close to me. He stands a good 3 inches taller than me, he removes his gasmask showing pale smooth lips. He steps so close our chests barely grazing each other.

I'm not intimidated.

I scan him down with my eyes; from his muscular beautifully shaped shoulders, to his abs and 6pack, a very visible V sliding into his pants.

Nope. I'm not intimidated at all.

We glare at each other, letting the seconds pass as Amber frantically looks between me and Jade.

"J-jade-" Amber starts, trying to get his attention, but her words are cut off when a gargling bubble sound comes from the corner of the room. All of us look at the trash sitting in the corner of the room.

"Gaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy." Silver sings from the floor as smoke drizzles out of her mouth. Her legs are crossed with an intricate purple and white bong in the center of her legs, her hair is tied back showing all of her ear peircings. Fresh, still wet Marijuana, litters the floor, proving she got into the fresh supply.

"Silver? What are you doing here?" Amber asks, obviously not okay with how things are going. Silver just giggles a reply as she flops onto the floor.

"She's been here for the last hour." Jade says taking a step back.

All of us go OOOOHHHHH and nod our heads.

After a second Amber tries again. "Hey Jade." She smiles when Jades eyes open wide with recognition.

"Oh My God." Jade says quickly wrapping his arms around Amber's waist. She blushes as she returns the hug. "I am SO sorry I never called. I didn't pay my phone bill for a month so they shut it off. How are you? What are you doing here? Who's this?" Jade motions to me.

Me and Amber both go to answer him but the world is destroyed when a small black haired child runs into the room. "Daddy!" The boy shouts as he runs to Jade. Jade happily picks up the 4 year old boy, placing a kiss on the boy's cheek.

"This," He settles the boy on his hip. "Is my son Alexander. Say hi Xander." The boy digs his face into Jade's neck.

"Sorry," Jade says, "He's still a little shy."

I try to respond, but all I can do is look at Amber, and the horrified look on her face.

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 _ **Please review. Even if you dont like it, review.**_


	7. Chapter 6

**This fanfiction is written by Chaos Cherry**

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 **Chapter Six**

"Okay, Okay, Let's think about this logically." Silver sits crosslegged on a coffee table while we all sit on the floor. We have located Mae and Chaos, and Sayuri sent some vague message about party hopping and took Lysander with her. We've gathered in a bedroom I assume is Jade's room from all the murals on the walls, and sit conference style around a coffee table Silver has declared her throne. Chaos sits next to me smelling of douchebag and covered in glitter while Mae and her pass a joint back and forth, not really having anything to do with the business at hand. Silver hits the bong once more before addressing us, her subordinates. A painting of a small child in flames in a gas mask makes aggressive eye contact with me and makes me uncomfortable.

"On one hand," Silver suddenly shouts, throwing an arm in Jade's direction nearly smacking poor Xander in the face. "We have Jade and his small son we had no prior knowledge about." Jade nods and hits the joint, careful not to let too much smoke wander in Xander's direction. That's promising.

"And on the other," She shouts with just as much passion, "We have Amber carrying his unborn child."

She lets the news sink in and we all watch Jade.

"Thoughts?" We all burst in with our opinions on the matter, causing complete and utter chaos.

"WAIT." She shrieks throwing out her arms, silencing us all. "We'll use the talking stick. Jade first." She hands him the bong. He hits it releasing a fresh cloud of smoke into the room before addressing Amber, we all nod in approval.

"You're pregnant?" He asks an unreadable look on his face. Amber opens her mouth to speak before Silver violently shushes her, "You're not holding the stick."

Amber seems irritated by the whole affair but takes the bong. She takes a hit and talks softly to Jade, while silver flicks ashes at me and yells at them to be louder. They aren't taking this seriously at all.

A bit of joint ash attacks my eye, a gift from Silver.

That's it.

"Everyone out!" I suddenly shout, we came here for business, we are just wasting time. Silver immediately protests but follows Mae and Chaos out because they took the bong. Once the room is clear I lay it all out for him.

"I need to take her to texas to see our family so they can help support you guys." I give him a pointed look.

He smiles wide and nods. "Of course, god knows we couldn't raise kids on our own, I'm surprised Xanders lasted this long." He laughs and stands closer to her, making it clear they work together now. I'm still offput by _everything_ he just said, but Amber seems truly touched.

"You mean, you're happy about this?" She looks at him with large eyes. He puts his arms around her,

"Of course I am." They look at each other and beem. I hate to break up a tender moment but I'm feeling sick. "Then it's settled!" I interject, "And speaking of kids, where's yours?" We all look around for a second before spotting him.

Xander sits on the middle of Jade's bed, marijuana spread all around him, completely drenched in shake. Jade laughs a little and picks up his son, taking Amber's hand with his free arm."Let's get you cleaned up kiddo, then we can go celebrate."

"You can't still be mad about that!" Mae shouts at me from the backseat of Jade's truck. We cruise down the highway with no clear destination in mind, just looking for a party. Jade controls the vehicle, leaving the rest of us to sit and enjoy the ride. I've claimed shotgun and Mae has taken that as a sign I'm still mad about the Chaos situation.

I'm not.

But if I were it would be warranted. While I was busy trying to take care of my family, she was off dancing up on some gay dude.

But I'm not mad.

"So Jade, where's Xander's mom?" I try to make conversation. Jade looks to me, perking an eyebrow, an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips.

"She's dead." He lights his cigarette.

"Oh." Stumbles past my lips. "... How'd it happen?"

"Car accident." He sighs but indulges me regardless. "I dropped my cigarette, we flipped, she died, I didn't." He takes my silence as an opportunity, rolling all the windows down and turning up the stereo, ending my feeble attempt at a conversation.

The wind mufles everything. Blanketing the small noises people make as they settle into their seats and let the air wash over them. Castiel, being the genius he is, lights up a joint behind me. Everyone nods in approval and lights miscellaneous joints and cigarettes passing them around waking the rest of the inhabitants in the far back. Everyone moves as if they're in slow motion, every breath carefully planned as they exhale small portions of their souls into the atmosphere. Every little touch lingers and every sound is ripped out of the window by the wind. I do us all a favor and turn up the radio, my family falls silent and bathes in the moment. Soaking each other in. Castiel lights my cigarette and I curl into the passenger door, letting my body melt into the car. We roll up all the windows and suddenly all is still, the music still plays but quieter. Everyone seems to breath in sync as the small box fills with smoke.

I close my eyes.

I can feel my heartbeat deep in my chest.

I can feel my chest rise and fall.

I can feel a dull ache forming in my knees, an ache that I know will soon consume my thoughts, but I push it away for now.

Instead I focus on the heartbeat.

We enter a large tunnel, having yellow light surround us. Silver lightly starts singing from the back of the truck, Chaos and some other people joining in, kinda ruining my serene moment. I try to ride with it, enjoy the harmony, but any chance of peace is thrown out the windows when Jade pulls the wheel hard, slamming on the brakes, swerving in the road.

The truck comes to a hard stop, making my head slam against the dash. Several yelps and screams of discomfort come from the inhabitants of the car.

"What the fuck?" I yell as I place my hand against my throbbing forehead, a bump forming where I impacted the vehicle.

I look to Jade, his hands at an awkward angle searching the floor of his seat. "Sorry! Sorry!" he yells removing his seatbelt. "Dropped my cigarette!"

"Why'd we stop?" Silver yells from the back. I sink into the seat, too high to give a fuck about the situation. Jade turns off the truck claiming we're wasting gas. I analyse our angle. We are parked horizontally across the road, blocking traffic both ways.

More cars line up wanting to pass as I feel people starting to move in the back. Jade hops out of the truck, still trying to find his cigarette.

After a few minutes traffic is backed up farther than I can see. A few people get out of their cars, yelling and honking for us to get out of the way.

"Um, Jade," I say as I watch Silver scream at a car before jumping onto the front of it. "We should probably get out of here."

"What? No. I haven't found my cigarette yet. I rolled that myself! It has special sentiment."

I roll my eyes at Jade's reasoning, watching as Silver starts kicking a windshield, causing more burnouts to slither out of the vehicle and cause chaos around the cars.

"HAHA! Found it!" Jade shouts holding up a less that 2 inch long rolled thing. By the time Jade get back into the driver seat and starts the car, _everyone_ , excluding Amber, is running, spitting, jumping, and beating the cars. Causing drivers to get out and fight with some people.

"Come on!" Jade yells out the windows as he honks the horn, informing the stoners it's time to go. Jade slowly starts driving, moving into one of the clear lanes. People run and jump into the truck, some carrying scores from robbing cars. I see Silver run after the truck as it gains speed. Behind her a red faced fat man chases her, a crowbar raised above his head. "Come back here slut!" The man yells as Silver makes it to the truck before we hit full speed, leaving the mess and letting traffic flow again. I confirm Chaos is with us by spotting a white ball of hair through the rear view mirror.

We fly down the highway, giggles blending with the loud sound of panic at the disco.

We can hear muffled sirens in the distance and suddenly everybody falls silent.

"Fuck." Jade mutters a panicked look in his eyes.

"No no, it's fine." A stranger to me cooes from behind him. "Make a left up here, I know exactly where to go."

Soft fabric and the smell of stripper chokes my senses. I can hear her familiar laugh wash over me as Chaos pulls Silver's shirt away from my face exposing me to the harsh reality. Dance music blares and lights flash and strobe in different colors, lighting up a bar and a pit of half naked men grinding on eachother.

A gay bar? Really? Of all the places we could hide from the cops they picked here?

Well at least the girls are enjoying themselves. Silver dances topless right in the center of club, hoe was ready to get down. In fact everyone but Chaos and Castiel seem to have melted into the club in some form of another.

"I'm going to go dance." Chaos pecks my cheek lightly and disappears, enveloped in the sea of men.

At least I still have Castiel. Plus I really need to score and he's always down for a treasure hunt.

"I guess that just leaves us." I look to Castiel, who has also abandoned me to get a drink at the bar.

 _Fine._

Okay. Okay. I know how to handle myself alone, I'll be fine.

I decide to brave the crowd and find Silver. I'm 80% sure she still has some cocaine in her bra. It's not my drug of choice, but in a pinch it can help with the pain and sickness of withdrawal. My head throbs along with the lights and bones ache.

I stand at the edge of the pit and take a deep breath. It feels like i fall backward into it and suddenly I am submerged in a mass, no longer one person but part of a movement. Swaying with the beat everyone moves together, a blur of hands and hips. Someone grabs my shirt and pulls me into them connecting our lips just long enough to pass something into my mouth and down my throat before he is swept away by the current of people.

"What the hell?" I spit his saliva from my mouth, rubbing my tounge with my sleeve. The club is loud and everything starts to blend together, the lights, the people, the music. My head feels woozy and heavy. What did I come in here for? A beautiful black guy moves to me, using his deep brown eyes to call me in. I feel reality unravel as he comes up, pushing our groins together.

Physical contact happens on all sides, overloading me. Slowly we start grinding to the sound of the music. The friction in our pants growing faster, hotter. I lean on him, feeling all strength drain out of me. I can feel his hands move down to my ass, lifting me up.

Everyone jumps to the beat, feeling the bass pulse with our heartbeats. I look over and see Silver dancing next to me. Her eyes bright and in the moment. She sees me, reaching her hand out. We connect, feeling the same energy pulse through her and into me, from me and into her. We separate, a sick feeling growing in my gut.

I look up to the black prince holding me captive. He's in his own world as his hands roam me. I feel my mouth water, a ringing sound floating through my ears. "Oh shit." I say pushing away from the guy. I cover my mouth with a hand, rushing to the bathrooms.

I slam open the rusted broken stall door, heaving stomach fluid into the bowl. I hear the bathroom door open as I heave my guts into the toilet, once my stomach is empty I look up.

My black prince stands there, his black hair tied in small dreads. "Hey." He says holding his hand out. A piercing sparkling above his deep brown eyes. "Come on." He says slipping his hand into mine and pulling me up. He holds me by the waist as I rinse out my mouth, the world returning to normal.

"Thanks." I gasp barely able to process what I'm actually doing.

He smiles, as if my inability to function is his entertainment. "I'm Dajan." He says still holding me.

"Nathan." I say too tired to say my full name. "I feel like shit."

"I've got something that will make you feel better." Dajan says with a smile and takes my hand. "Come with me."

I follow him out the backdoor of the club, not registering my steps. I'm sure I stumble but I feel like we float through an ocean. The parking lot is a black sea and the cars are bits of land. Wait, parkinglot? Am I going to his car with him? I mean I ain't no pussy, I can take dick when I need to, but this isn't a life or death situation. _Yet._ I look him over as he guides me deeper into the darkness. He's pretty big, I don't think I could fight him, and I'm too fucked up to articulate my particular desire to _not_ be having sex with him. Besides I've led him on, following him to his car, falling all over him, it'd be a bitch move to pussy out now. And he is pretty hot...

I accept my fate.

He stops at a big maroon van, letting go of my hand and flashing me a quick smile and diving into the van. There's some shuffling and then his hand shoots out of the darkness, beckoning me forward, not giving me time to reconsider.

Deep breath.

Here we go.

I take the hand and am immediately swept into darkness, the door quickly shutting behind me. I can't see shit in the van so I just settle in, leaning against what I assume is the driver's seat. I can't tell if Dajan or the van smells of jasmine and weed, but the presence overwhelms me even in blindness. I can hear him breath and feel his shifting and movements. Heart racing, I wait for him to touch me, make his move, but when my eyes finally adjust to the light he has something I desire far more than a hard on sitting in his lap.

"Do you wanna go first?" He asks handing me the full syringe. I am so filled with gratitude, my jaw is dropped. Hell I might just fuck him anyway I'm so grateful for this gift. All I can do is mumble and nod in my state, somehow in between withdrawal sickness and high on pills. He laughs and shakes his head.

"You straight white boys are useless." He leans into me while he ties my band and taps my vein, helping me shoot up is 1000 times better than helping me get off. I feel all of the pent up pain and pressure in my body release into the atmosphere as I'm filled up with the drug. Liquid pleasure floods me, forcing out everything else. I lean forward and rest my head on his shoulder. He repeats the process with himself before falling into the same euphoric haze, pausing for a moment.

His hand brushes my thigh as he sits back raising a question between us. I am so grateful for all that he has just done for me, but I'm in love with girl, who I should go find actually… Though it seems wrong to leave without giving him anything in return for the kindness he's just paid me.

I take the sides of his face in my hands, leaning into him and swallowing my nerves replacing them with gratitude. I want him to feel how grateful I am. I bite the bullet and kiss him fast and hard then swing myself from the van and catapult myself toward the club shouting a thank you back at him as I go.

I collide hard with the door and it takes less than a minute to spot my white haired queen.

She sits in her spotlight at Mae's feet, surrounded by gay men, Mae weaving a flower crown in her hair.

She looks like a princess or a handmaiden at the feet of a queen.

When she see's me her face perks up and she smiles wide, "Hey."

My heart melts. I take her hand and help her to her feet, pulling her body close to mine. The soft curve of her waist under my hand.

"Come with me."

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 **Please review. Even if you dont like it, review.**


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